Gir the Irken
by girlovesmoosey
Summary: This time, Zim's stupidity is to blame. REVIEW! Oh, just read it. No boy boy or girl girl romance. i probably won't put any. idk... CHAPTER 2 IS UP!
1. Chapter 1

Zim sat at his kitchen table, not really motivated to do anything. He had been trying to conquer Earth for just a little bit over a year so he figured it was time to do something to destroy it. First of all, his SIR. 'GIR' to be exact, malfunctioned so much as opposed to a regular SIR.

"HI MASTAH!" GIR screamed, walking into the kitchen. Zim did a face palm.

"Hey." Zim responded meekly. Then he had an idea…

Instead of completely changing GIR, which Zim had done before (that didn't work out too well), he could just make him smarter. That may be stupid enough to work.

"GIR!" Zim shouted, standing erectly and backing away from the table a bit.

"What?" GIR asked, his mouth full of donuts.

"Come to the lab," Zim said, "We have some work to do."

They proceeded to the laboratory that was under the house. Zim set GIR on a table and began to make calculations on his computer.

"Okay. GIR, I'm going to attach this thing to you." he said, holding up a wire. "Do not move it or the data going from my brain to yours can become corrupt, causing you to become… even less smart… at least I think that's what this thing is for…"

The computer began to interrupt.

"Actually, it's for-"

"SILENCE!" Zim shouted.

Zim attached one end of the wire to his head and the other to GIR's. then he felt a very painful jolt, forcing him to remove the wire.

He noticed that GIR looked the same. But was he smarter?

"GIR?"

"HUH? BAGEL! HEHE!" GIR shouted.

"Okay. You're still stupid." Zim said.

"That's because you used the wrong wire." the computer said.

"WHAT? THAT IS IMPOSSIBLE! ZIM MAKES NO MISTAKES!" he said then paused. "Then what did I do?"

"Find out for yourself." the computer said.

"…GIR…" Zim said.

"What?" GIR asked, his voice not even sounding metallic anymore. What was going to happen to him?

"Do you feel any… different?" Zim asked.

"A little." GIR said. Then he turned around and ran upstairs- probably to play or something.

But when he turned around… was that a PAK on him?

Zim followed GIR upstairs. But who he saw wasn't GIR…

It was a little Irken.

REVIEW! Please! I beg you! The doctor said I only have twenty four hours to live and all I want before I die is reviews! JUST KIDDING! But I LOVE reviews. They make my heart explode with happiness. The Easter Platypus will thank you.


	2. Girness!

Zim couldn't believe what he was seeing. That Irken… couldn't be his SIR could it?

"G-GIR?" he asked shakily.

"HMM? YOU GOT MY TAQUITOS?" GIR asked.

"Um… no." Zim said. "It's just that you… don't look like…yourself…" Zim said.

"Whaddya mean, mastah?" GIR asked.

Zim picked GIR up and took him to the bathroom mirror.

"That's what I mean." Zim said. GIR began to scream, forcing Zim to drop him.

GIR ran to the kitchen and hid under the table. Zim lazily walked in.

"GIR, I can see you. Come out." Zim said. GIR began to cry.

"No." he said.

"GIR I AM YOUR MASTER AND I COMMAND YOU TO COME OUT FROM UNDER THE TABLE RIGHT THIS SECOND! DO YOU UNDDERSTAND? HABLA ESPANOL?"

"NO!"

"I have your piggy." Zim said.

"I DON'T CARE!" GIR screamed.

"GIR Please listen to me. Maybe I can fix this." he said.

"I'm afraid you cannot do that." the computer said.

"What? Why?" Zim asked.

"It would be extremely difficult to have him completely revert to his original form and even if you were successful, you could kill him. Even the best Irken doctors would find it nearly impossible." the computer said.

"You're not making any sense." Zim said, picking GIR up and taking him to the lab.

"Okay," Zim said, "first I'm going to have to do a blood test."

GIR began to scream as Zim pulled out a sharp needle.

"NO! GET THAT AWAY FROM ME!" GIR yelled, trying to run away but Zim held him down.

"It will only hurt a bit. Do you want to be a robot again or not?" Zim asked as a rhetorical question.

GIR continued to scream.

"I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! LEAVE ME ALONE!"

"No, GIR. You are my SIR and-"

"I HATE YOU! I WANT A NEW MASTER!" GIR shouted.

"AND SOMETIMES I WISH YOU WEREN'T MY SIR!" Zim yelled, putting everything down. He let out an exasperated sigh as GIR ran upstairs. (this is where it starts to get out of character :P no. nobody dies in this one…)

"GIR!" Zim shouted running upstairs.

GIR was nowhere to be seen. He searched the entire house and finally reached the bathroom, where the door was locked.

"GIR! UNLOCK THIS DOOR RIGHT NOW!" Zim shouted.

"NO!" GIR yelled.

"GIR, get out of the bathroom." Zim said, trying to keep calm.

"OKAY!" GIR shouted.

Zim heard GIR open the window in the bathroom.

Zim immediately ran to the kitchen, grabbed GIR's gift card to Krazy Taco, and slid it through the bathroom door, opening it.

But GIR was gone.

Zim looked outside. It was 11:00 Pm, which made it difficult to see anything. And on top of that, it was foggy, humid, and overcast. It even began to rain a little.

When Zim saw that it was raining, he knew that was not a good thing. Since GIR was now Irken, his skin could easily burn if it made contact with water.

Zim put on his disguise and rushed outside. His skin began to burn but he was only concerned about GIR.

"GIR!" he shouted, "GIR WHERE ARE YOU? GET OVER HERE RIGHT NOW!"

GIR didn't even have a disguise. What if someone where to find him?

"GIR! I'M SORRY! I DIDN'T MEAN FOR ANY OF THIS TO HAPPEN!"

If only GIR understood what kind of danger he was in…

Zim couldn't bear standing in the rain anymore so he stayed under a tree for a bit.

He heard something shuffle in the bushes behind him.

"GIR?… Is that…is that you?" Zim asked.

Just a squirrel…

Then he heard very indistinct voices coming from a distance. He heard someone say 'is that an alien?' and someone else say 'I think he's dead'

Not good.

Zim ran over to a spot where he found a crowd of several people, gathered around in a semicircle.

They were gathered around GIR, who was lying on the ground unconscious, his skin sizzling as rain poured over him. Zim managed to run through with his PAK legs. He picked up GIR and used the PAK legs to run.

When he got to the house, all Zim could think of was how sorry he was. He really did hope GIR was alive. GIR was his only friend. The only one that was there for him when he was down. And he just might be gone.

"Please wake up…" Zim said, setting GIR down on the couch. GIR remained silent, his breathing unsteady. At least he was breathing at all.

"…GIR… I'm so sorry. You're the best SIR anyone could ever have… I just wish that you didn't hate me so much… " Zim said.

_stupid…STUPID… STUPID…_

He took him to the lab.

"Computer… drain the health from my PAK… and transfer it to his."

"You know," the computer said, "That would be a very dangerous procedure and-"

"DO AS I SAY!" Zim yelled.

"But without a master, every computer in your base will malfunction." the computer said.

"Okay." Zim said, "I guess I'll have to try something better."

He took GIR upstairs.

GIR was also the only one on this planet… who didn't hate Zim.

Keef doesn't count.

He sat on the couch, GIR in his lap.

_please please PLEASE wake up…_

"GIR… I don't know what I would do without you so… please wake up." Zim pleaded. Nothing happened.

Zim soon lost hope and fell asleep. And when he woke up, GIR was in the same place.

In Zim's lap.

Zim felt a very faint pulse coming from GIR.

_please please PLEASE wake up…_

Finally, GIR's eyes opened a bit. Zim gasped as his heart seemed to stop.

"GIR DON'T EVER DO THAT AGAIN! I WAS SO WORRIED!" Zim said, giving GIR a huge hug.

"…master…" GIR said, "I don't really hate you. I'm sorry." he said, putting his head down.

"AWW. Don't worry." Zim said. "But now that you're Irken, you can go to skool with me!"

GIR gave Zim a hug.

"But don't I need a disguise or something?" he asked.

Zim nodded.

"You let me worry about that." he said.

Since he was Irken, GIR was now up to Zim's shoulders. He used to be only five inches over Zim's knees.

"I want ice cream" GIR said, smiling.

"Fine. I'll take you to Dairy Queen in a bit. You almost gave me a heart attack." he said, scoffing as if to say he were joking.

GIR did resemble Zim but only a little. GIR's eyes were blue- which was not common for an Irken.

"INTRUDER ALERT!" the computerized voice announced.

"Intruder?" Zim asked, "Who would break into my base?"

Of course…

Dib. He was hiding behind the TV. How the heck did he get there?

"HA! I HAVE YOU NOW ZIM AND… who are you?" Dib asked, referring to GIR.

"That's GIR." Zim said. Dib was taken aback.

"What? You've got to be joking." Dib said.

"Nope." GIR said, "Now I-"

"This is awesome!" Dib said. "Now I have two aliens to take care of!" he said.

"YAY!" GIR shouted.

"No, GIR. That's bad." Zim said.

To be continued… sorry to make Zim act like such a BABY (starts singing 'Baby' by Justin Bieber) but ahem… yeah it got depressing. That's what happens when I work on TOOOOOO many fanfics at once. I get overwhelmed and for some reason, my story gets depressing. Yeah and Dib was probably the only one who was NOT OOC in this chapter. They all started in character then… tee-hee… gosh… it's very late and I'm working on this… and I HATE… well not 'hate' but… I feel NEUTRAL about Justin Bieber… if Alvin and the Chipmunks tried to sing one of his songs, it would be too high pitched to even hear. But REVIEW! If I get at least 5 reviews on this chapter in 10 days I'll stop making it depressing. How much do you wanna bet I'll lose count? :1 :3 heehee smileys…cake…CHOCOLATE! I MUST GO EAT CHOCOLATE NOW!… but it's 3am… I'm so crazy. Wow is it just me or is this starting to get longer than the story?… REVIEW AND YOU ROCK! FLAME AND YOU… DON'T! DON'T REVIEW AND I GET ANGRY! AND YOU WON'T LIKE ME WHEN I'M ANGRY!….zzz…


	3. Skool

**(haha! Talk about procrastination! Tee-hee! I'm sorry it took so long- I bet most of you were like 'ah, she's not gonna continue…' yup… but don't get your hopes up for Pudding and Doom…I don't like it anymore… I might continue Small Mistakes…if I feel like…I'm a lazy bum… I'm 90% sure I'm going to continue Evil Twin…I like that one and I'm DEFINITELY working on The little brother he never had! THANX 4 ALL THE REVIEWS! I'm almost at 70! I never thought I'd make a story that good…and sad…I cried a bit myself writing it but maybe it's because I was listening to sad music on my TINY STUPID ipod shuffle…)**

For no apparent reason, GIR ran into the kitchen, got about twelve stale mini-bagels and threw them at Dib.

"AH! What the…bagels?" Dib asked. GIR nodded and continued to throw them.

"Great…now we're out of bagels…" Zim said after Dib had fled. You would have thought that he would have been armed with something. "Ugh… anyway, it's 6am so we'd better get ready for skool."

"But…how do I get ready for skool?"

"Oh that's right, you're usually asleep when I wake up…" Zim said, he then handed Gir a device that looked a bit like an iphone.

"This is an upgraded version of the disguise generator. Just pick one." he said.

Gir picked a simple disguise. Peach skin, black hair, a denim jacket, jeans, and of course, blue eyes. He pressed a button and instantly, he was in the disguise.

Gir rushed out the door, a smile spread from ear to ear. Zim half smiled and just hoped the day wouldn't be too bad with Gir around.

As soon as they got to class, Gir stood in front of all of the students.

"If you have anything to say, say it now because after right now, I DON'T WANT TO HEAR A SOUND FROM YOU!" Ms. Bitters hissed at Gir. He just stood there with a brainless smile.

"MY NAME IS GIR AND I LOVE TACOS! THEY'RE LIKE LAXATIVES!" (A/N: idk where that came from…)

"That's the best introduction I've ever heard in this class. Now sit down!" Ms. Bitters yelled. "Today's lecture will be on eternal doom…"

During the…lecture, Dib was trying to think of ways to expose the two aliens in his class.

"TACOS!" Gir yelled, interrupting the lecture.

"hey…Gir…I'll give you a taco if you take off your disguise…" Dib said.

"r-really? But then…I'll have to hire a monkey to do Zim's evil bidding…"

"What? Why?" Dib asked.

Gir shrugged. Then Ms. Bitters glared at them.

"DETENTION! BOTH OF YOU!"

"Is that a type of cake?" Gir asked.

"No. it's a type of punishment." Dib said.

"ugh…" Zim said under his breath, knowing he was responsible for Gir. Zim stood up, getting Ms. Bitter's attention.

"Ms. Bitters, Dib was actually giving Gir a death threat and Gir did nothing wrong-"

"THAT'S NOT TRUE!" Dib shouted.

"YOU LIE! I SPEAK ONLY TRUTH YOU PATHETIC-"

"TACO!" Gir screeched. Zim looked back at the teacher.

"Fine. Dib…-"

"Yeah, yeah…detention…" Dib said.

"No. you go to the principal's office immediately…as for you, Gir…you have to stay after skool to clean up the classroom."

"For what?" Zim asked.

"Random outbursts." she said then picked up her textbook.

Zim and Gir both sat back down. It was going to be a LONG day…


End file.
